


Into The Night

by SBlackmane



Series: Midnight Madness [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adamant Fortress, Dragon Age Prompt Generator, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - Here Lies the Abyss, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 10:58:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16240229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SBlackmane/pseuds/SBlackmane
Summary: From the prompt: Cullen & M!Hawke "A Vial Of Blood"Garret entrusts Cullen with something he never thought he'd ever need.





	Into The Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kosho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kosho/gifts).



> Hit a bit of a writers block, so I've been coming up with some random things just to keep my fingers busy. Thought I'd start a series of one shots of things I come up with. Some will be prompts, others might be things I started but never plan on finishing, and other random drabbles.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -SB

He took a deep breath to steady himself, but even so, he exhaled raggedly as he trembled.

Adamant fortress was in view.

This was the moment everything led to, the battle that would stop the Wardens once and for all. Every bit of work he and Warden Alistair had done had led them to this moment, and Hawke found himself stricken with fear. He couldn't make his feet move, found himself rooted to that spot in the sand as he stared at the towers looming in the distance.

He knew not everyone would make it out alive. Cullen had done his best to plan the attack accordingly, to allow them the most advantageous positions, but there would only be so much room for them to maneuver once the siege equipment broke the walls and the Inquisitor's forces were inside. They would be boxed in, and many would die in the initial onslaught.

He clutched an amulet tightly in his hand as he stood vigilant that night. The amulet a vial, filled with his own blood, kept on his person since he left Skyhold. He'd talked their arcanist, Dagna, into helping him make it. He'd never had such a thing before, being an apostate all his life, and never thought he'd need one now. But just in case...

...Garret Hawke clutched the phylactery tightly in hand.

Because if he got separated from the others somehow, maybe, just maybe, he could be found before it was too late. He could make it out of this.

He'd thought carefully on who should possess the vial, should something happen to him, and with a sigh, he turned to leave his spot in the encampment in search of his query. Tearing his eyes from Adamant in the distance, he made his way to the command tent nearby, steeling his resolve before stepping inside.

There was the Inquisitor, in all her majesty, Lady Trevelyan, standing with her hands behind her back next to Commander Cullen, his second, Ser Rylen, Warden Alistair, and the Lady Seeker. They were looking at the schematics of Adamant, but their eyes all rested on him when he entered. "Good of you to join us, Champion," said Cassandra. "We were just going over the plan one final time, for good measure."

He nodded, and joined them, standing at the Inquisitor's other side, head bent toward the map, but eyes flitting to Cullen nearby as he spoke.

"You and Alistair will make your way inside using this access," Cullen told him. "You'll be our eyes and ears on the inside. The Inquisitor will meet the two of you here," he pointed to one of the choke points on the battlements, "After we've broken through their defenses. Try to get a fix on Clarel's location once you're inside. If we can get to her in time, we might be able to convince the Wardens to withdraw."

They spoke for several more minutes on the ins and outs of the attack before concluding the meeting. The Inquisitor was the first to leave, followed by Alistair, who would meet him at the rendezvous point before dark. The Seeker left to prepare herself to lead the attack with the Inquisitor, and Rylen left to check the siege equipment one final time. But Cullen remained in the tent a minute longer, a dark crease in his brow as he stared at the map.

"Commander," Hawke addressed him, still not quite getting over the new title Cullen possessed. It was a step up from Knight-Captain. Even though he'd grown used to hearing it from others the last few months working with the Inquisition, it still baffled him. Sometimes, when he looked at Cullen, he still saw the Captain in Kirkwall.

Though other days, he saw someone else. Someone... _changed_. Mostly for the better though, and that was all that mattered to Hawke. Cullen glanced up at him when he was addressed, and asked, "Something on your mind, Champion?"

Hawke chuckled a little. "Must all of you insist on calling me that?"

Cullen shrugged, the barest hint of a smile playing at his lips, crinkling the scar added there in recent years. "You are the Champion of Kirkwall."

"Was," he corrected. "Not anymore. Are you still a Knight-Captain?"

Cullen winced a little at the title.

"Good point...So, what can I do for you, Hawke?"

"I had hoped to speak with you about something...private, if I may," he said slowly. Cullen stopped glancing down at the map then, and gave him his full attention.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to give you this," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the amulet. Cullen sputtered at the sight of it.

"A phylactery?" he balked, and Hawke nodded. "Who's?"

"Mine," Hawke told him, and explained in more detail after seeing Cullen's confusion. "I had your arcanist help me make this. In case something should happen to me. As a way to locate me, and I wanted _you_ to have it."

Cullen stepped slowly around the table toward Hawke, taken completely by surprise at that. "Me?" he gaped. "But...why?"

Hawke shrugged. "I know you better than most here. Except for maybe Varric of course. But Varric isn't a Templar. He wouldn't have been able to use it. And you..." He stepped closer, closing the gap between them. "You're not the man you used to be, Cullen. I'm pretty sure I could trust you to use this properly, and not for any nefarious purposes." He stretched out his hand, but Cullen didn't accept the amulet. Rather, he backed away, holding up both hands in protest.

"I can't use it," he said, and Hawke leaned his head in confusion. "Hawke...I'm..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not a Templar anymore."

Hawke snorted. "Look, 'mate, I'm not asking you to hunt me down and drag me to a Circle, I'm asking you to keep this for me so you can find me if you need to. You don't have to-"

"No, Hawke, you don't understand," Cullen interrupted, voice rising slightly in pitch out of frustration. He ran a hand through his golden hair, then sighed. "I stopped taking Lyrium when I joined the Inquisition. I haven't taken it for months now. I haven't the abilities of Templar. I wouldn't be able to use it."

Hawke blinked several times.

"What?!"

He sputtered for a moment in shock as he processed what he'd just heard. Cullen stopped taking Lyrium?! He'd seen men go mad, suffer and die without Lyrium! He didn't know whether to be impressed Cullen was still alive and kicking, or sincerely worried for the man's sanity. Well, he really had changed then.

He glanced down at the vial in his hand, then back up at Cullen, who stared at it like it was a vial of _poison_ , but it was only blood after all. Though items such as this one had caused countless deaths over the years. Perhaps it made Cullen so uncomfortable because he himself had tracked down many a mage using their phylacteries and either dragged them back to the Circle, or put them to death.

Hawke sighed and hid the vial momentarily from view as he processed the truth Cullen admitted to. No Lyrium, eh? Which meant Cullen couldn't track him. "Well, maybe you know someone that can use it? Someone we can trust? Rylen perhaps. Or maybe-"

"Are you so certain we would _need_ to use it?" Cullen asked.

Hawke shrugged. "Well it's...just a precaution. I've been trapped in enough places before where I wished someone had a way to find me. Now granted, I don't like it anymore than you do, but...well, it was just a thought, anyway. An idea. Stupid idea I guess."

He turned to leave the tent, taking the vial with him, but Cullen's quiet words stopped him in the entryway.

"You would really trust _me_ with something like that?"

Hawke turned back to him.

"Had someone asked me that four years ago, I might not have said yes, but..." He walked back to Cullen, grabbed the warrior's gloved hand to gently place the phylactery in it. "Now? I would. I do. I'm not the man I used to be either, Cullen. Don't know if you've noticed but... We've _both_ changed."

"I suppose we have," Cullen nodded a little, hand closing around the amulet, but of course, Hawke's hand was still around it and inadvertently, Cullen squeezed his hand a little. Both blinked in surprise and withdrew, the vial now in Cullen's possession. Hawke's heart pounded wildly in his ears.

Now was not the time to dredge up an old unrequited crush on the Inquisition's Commander.

But Cullen smiled softly, just the barest of smiles, and Hawke returned it. "Hopefully we won't need to use this," he said, and Hawke nodded in agreement.

"But...just in case something does happen, Cullen, I just wanted you to know-"

"Don't," Cullen interjected. "None of that talk tonight. You can tell me after."

Hawke blinked again. Cullen's voice had dropped considerably low as he spoke, and the two shared a look...He did know, didn't he? He knew what Hawke would say, knew how Hawke felt, _exactly_ how he felt, didn't he?...Did he feel the same? Had all this time he...No, Cullen was right. They would speak after. There _would_ be an after.

There would _definitely_ be an after.

They would make certain of it.

The former Champion sighed.

"Maker go with you, Cullen," he said in parting.

"And you," Cullen replied.

A fire raged in Hawke for the briefest of moments.

The deed was done. He'd given Cullen Rutherford his phylactery, something he'd never imagined ever doing. But it was done and over with. For some reason though, he still couldn't breathe. Couldn't relax.

He glanced down at his ever trembling hand, before disappearing into the night...

* * *

A gasp tore through Cullen when he watched from afar as the bridge collapsed. The dragon flew off, and the Commander took the opportunity to break from the fight and bolt from the courtyard and hurry across the battlements toward the bridge. "Maker please don't be dead!" he begged aloud as he ran.

When the bridge collapsed, Evelyn was on it, and so was everyone with her. Including Garret Hawke.

He ran. And ran, and ran.

He was out of breath and his legs burned with strain by the time he reached the bridge. A choked noise escaped him when he saw neither the Inquisitor, nor her party anywhere in sight. Only a mangled Livius Erimond near the wall, choking and gasping for air. In anger, Cullen flew toward him and snatched him up by the throat. "Where are they??!" he snarled, and Erimond spat blood.

"They're dead, you idiot!" he wheezed. "You're too late!"

No! It couldn't be! Maker, don't let it be so!

"Where's Clarel?!" he then demanded, but Erimond only laughed at him. Well, not laughed so much as he coughed with a smile. He was too badly injured to do much harm. His staff was broken. Must be why the dragon flew off. He could no longer control it. Or perhaps through the eyes of Corypheus' pet he saw he had no further use for the man and would not come to his aid.

"Commander!" he heard a Starkhavener bark behind him, and he dropped Erimond at the sound of Rylen's voice.

He searched frantically for a solution. What was he to do? Surely they weren't dead?! They couldn't be!

 _Maker, it should've been me_ , he thought. _I should've been the one protecting the Inquisitor. I should've been at her side! Not..._

...Hawke!

Abandoning Erimond, who slumped against the wall, Cullen searched his pockets for the phylactery Hawke had given him, thrusting it into Rylen's hand. "What's this?" he questioned.

"Hawke gave this to me," he rushed to explain. "It's his. See if you can track him. At least tell me if he's alive! He was with the Inquisitor. If he's alive-"

"Then so might the others be," Rylen finished, nodding in understanding. "Aye, Commander, I'll see what I can do."

Cullen watched, and Cullen prayed. To any God that was listening. Whether it be the Maker, or the elven Creators. He didn't really give a damn who answered, but Maker's breath, _someone_ up there was listening, someone up there must've heard him, because Hawke's phylactery indicated to Rylen he was still alive. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"But we saw them fall, Commander. I don't understand. How are they alive?"

"I saw what might've been a rift, but it's gone now. They must've fallen through it and it closed behind them."

"Andraste's flamin' knickers, that means they're trapped in the Fade!" Rylen exclaimed.

"You will never reach them," Erimond hissed from the ground. "And there's no escaping what awaits them on the other side."

"That's enough from you!" Rylen barked, hauling him roughly to his feet. "We'd better get back, Commander. Need to tell the others what happened. The Wardens are still trying to open that rift. Maybe we can reason with them. Now that they know this blighted bastard is the culprit."

Cullen nodded, and the two dragged Erimond back as their prisoner.

Cullen's heart pounded in his chest, and with one trembling hand he clutched Erimond's arm, while the other clutched his sword.

* * *

Minutes quickly turned to hours of waiting.

The Wardens surrendered to the Inquisition, and joined the fight against the demons still pouring from the rift. The healers tended the wounded, and the soldiers set up a blockade at the rift in the courtyard. Without the Inquisitor to close it, the gaping maw continued to rein terror upon them.

The slightest tendrils of light peaked in the distance, indicating the sun was beginning to rise, before there was any change.

The Commander's stomach churned in anticipation.

Then, finally, he released the breath he'd been holding when activity was reported in the rift. Something not a demon was trying to come out of it, but nevertheless soldiers stood guard in case it was a demon, swords at the ready. Mages casted barriers around them, and they waited with bated breath. A few gasped in shock when some of the Inquisitor's companions came tumbling out of the rift. First Cassandra, then Blackwall, and finally Solas came out.

Cullen held his breath.

About a minute later Warden Alistair jumped through, and finally Lady Trevelyan landed on her feet, pulling the rift tightly shut behind her.

Cullen's heart stopped.

Hawke!

Where was Hawke?!

He rushed to the Inquisitor's side, cupping her shoulders with both hands, checking her over for injuries. He found none. She was alive and unharmed. But..."Where's Garret?" he asked, and watched her slowly shake her head, tears in her eyes.

His heart sank when she said, "He stayed behind to distract the demon, so the rest of us could make it...He gave his life for ours."

"Maybe...maybe there's still a chance...maybe he can still-"

"Commander," said Rylen, coming to join them.

He and Cullen made eye contact, and judging by the Templar's expression there was no hope this time.

He glanced at the darkened amulet that ceased it's glow.

He was gone.

Cullen squeezed his eyes shut.

No Gods were listening this time. Not even the Maker would heed his prayer.

He was the one person Hawke had trusted to find him, to bring him back...to keep him safe...

He turned away from both of them to discreetly wipe the tear from his cheek.

_'You can tell me after...'_

There was something he'd meant to discuss with Garret.

A conversation that went unfinished.

Now he'd never get the chance to hear those words.

To say them back.

* * *

He couldn't bring himself to face Varric. Couldn't look the dwarf in the eye when he finally approached him in the main hall at Skyhold, weeks later. Varric already knew. He'd already read the message Leliana received via raven from the front line, after the battle. Varric knew the Champion was gone.

He never would've believed it though, not without seeing it firsthand. He always thought Hawke to be indestructible. He'd seen his best friend fight so many battles and always come out in the other side unscathed. But when Varric saw the look on the Commander's face, he knew it was real. Hawke had been sacrificed in the Fade.

"Curly," Varric greeted, a sad smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

They never talked much. Never really got around to being friends, never got the chance. Cullen was always busy, and he hated being reminded of anything to do with Kirkwall, and sometimes that included Varric. It was a time better left in the past, anyway. On the rare occasion one of them might share a few words, but they weren't close like Varric and Hawke had been.

Staring up at the Commander of the Inquisition, who could barely meet his gaze, who had been one of the last people to see Hawke alive...Varric realized he desperately needed Cullen's company at the moment. He was the only other person there at Skyhold from Kirkwall that he somewhat knew. The only person Varric knew before the Inquisition, and right now Cullen was a lifeline.

"I'm sorry, Varric," Cullen said, in almost a whisper, like he was afraid to speak. Like he'd killed Hawke himself.

It killed Varric to hear that.

Ever stoic, but just barely, Varric managed to ask, "Care for drink? I could use one."

Cullen was never one for drinking. But tonight he would make an exception. Tonight he would stop being the Commander of the Inquisition and just be Cullen Rutherford for once. For Garret's sake. He was certain that's what the former Champion would've wanted. His fingers ached to clutch the amulet around his neck, hidden under his armor; a vial of Garret's blood, the only thing in the waking world left of the Champion now.

He bit back a choked sound and nodded at Varric's request.

"I'll buy," he offered, and followed the storytelling dwarf out of the hall, and into the night.


End file.
